9
by Like a boss 888
Summary: Lulu struggles with accepting Tidus because of the resemblance he shares with her lost love, Chappu. She has to force herself to forget the dead and move onto the living, breathing man that loves her. LuluxWakka Rated M for sex / oneshot


"_Lulu struggles with accepting Tidus because of the resemblance he shares with her lost love, Chappu. She becomes overcome with the guilt of her past mistakes and can only get through her pain with the help of Wakka. She has to force herself to forget the dead and move onto the living, breathing man that loves her. Rated M for sex / oneshot" _

**This for all the Lulu x Wakka fans out there! I know you guys are out there (yeah all ten of you haha) so I hope you guys read this. I personally love this couple and think its adorable. Haha, I definitely added way to much drama to their relationship, but w/e. I'm using a new account for this story because frankly, its too embarrassing for me to take credit for. **

**Thanks for reading!**

"Come on Lu, maybe it'll do us sum good, ya?"

Wakka sat across from me, his broad shoulders hunched and his elbows propped on his knees. His head rested in between his arms, stationary like the pendulum on a broken clock, his eyes hidden.

"What's good about it?" I scoffed, "This boy is a stranger. We don't know him at all. We cannot have an opinion of him based on the fact that he looks like . . ." I couldn't finish the sentence. I couldn't bare to breathe his name on my lips again. Wakka knew the name I was thinking of, he knew the pain that I . . . that we both bore. Wakka lifted his head to steal a glance at me, but I turned away.

"Lu . . ."

When he whispered my name I cringed.

He voice was so familiar, and yet so alien. Chappu. His voice the same rich tone as Chappu's. That same, simple pidgin speak that they shared. They didn't look alike, but their bond as brother's was so evident in their accents and tone of voice. Turning away from Wakka, unable to see the stark differences from him and his brother and to just hear his voice was so unbearable. I wanted to hate Wakka for living instead of Chappu. I wanted to, but I just couldn't.

I loved him too much. As a brother, or as a lover, I did not know. Thinking about something like that, something so seemingly unimportant compared to everything else, was not something that appealed to me. But not thinking about it caused moments like this, moments when confusion hit me like a stone wall.

Wakka is the only one I have left. My whole life seemed to be filled with death. My parents, Chappu, Lady Ginnem . . . everyone who has held a deep place in my heart has gone. Wakka was there for me after every one of those deaths, to help me through my grief, even if his grief was just as bad as mine.

And now Yuna wants to take the Pilgrimage and stand up to SIN, a task which has already taken two people I loved. Yuna wants to bring a strange boy whom we don't know, but for some reason she trusts, on this very personal journey. Wakka seems to trust this boy, Tidus, as well, but I think it's for different reason. Tidus looks like Wakka's dead brother.

I can't trust him. I will not trust him. Tidus will never replace Chappu, no one will! But Wakka, he seems so quick to want to fill up the hole in his heart left by Chappu. I don't understand it. How can you forget your own brother? I snapped back to reality by Wakka's voice. From the sound of it he had been talking for a while now, while I sat so deep in my own guilty thoughts that I was oblivious to him.

". . . . and das why I gotta keep you safe, ya? My lidde brudda woulda wanted dat." He was nodding his head as if to reassure himself.

I wasn't sure what had come before that, but I was touched by Wakka's words. My anger for him abated, if only by a little. I almost forgot that moments before he had said that befriending the boy that looked similar to my dead love would "do us some good". The anger came back, and I before I knew it I was seething again. I stood up and cried the first thing that entered my mind.

"You just want to replace Chappu!"

Wakka straightened, a look of pure astonishment plastered on his face. He opened his mouth, but nothing came out. I wish I could take what I had just said back, even if it was the conclusion I had come too. And even if it was the truth, he did not deserve this treatment.

I stepped shakily backwards away from the flame and into the dark night, scared of myself. How could I say such things to him? Wakka loved Chappu just as much as I did, if not more as his own flesh and blood. What gave me the right to judge so harshly?

Wakka still sat on the log on the other side of the fire, but his demeanor had changed drastically from when we first started talking. He no longer was casually slouched; he sat rigidly straight now, his head held high and facing me. His dark eyes looked betrayed.

"Wakka, I'm sorry. I . . . I didn't mean it. I know how much you miss Chappu." I stuttered out. My voice was hoarse and quick, so different from my usual articulate and careful speech. I stepped towards the flame and could feel its heat once again on my body. Wakka looked down, his shock replaced with confusion, his heavy brows furrowed. The rigidity seemed to ebb out of him as quickly as it had come as he slouched back into position. He seemed to be debating on the reasons I had been so blunt. He didn't seemed to understand the reason I despised Tidus.

"Please Wakka, forgive me."

He looked up quickly and I could see his eyebrows pulled together even more, as if he were more confused, "I'm nah mad at chu!

Now it was my turn to be caught off guard. Was he really not mad? Did he not hear me? Before I could let my mind wander, he spoke again, this time with a smile warming up his face. "Your right, I do see my liddle brudda in Tidus. They do look alike, ya? But I ain't lookin to replace no one. I let Chappu die when I coulda stopped him from joining the Crusaders. Maybe I can help Tidus a liddle, ya? I'm jus movin on, like you.

"But Wakka, I haven't really-"

"Nah, not from Chappu, I mean you moved on from Lady Ginnem."

Wakka's mention of Lady Ginnem caused a pang of guilt to shoot through me. I can't talk about her. I just can't.

He continued, unaware of my guilt, "You feel bad for being helpless when she died and how you can redeem yourself with Yuna."

I inhaled sharply. His words, although innocent enough, wrenched my heart open. The thought alone was enough to make me upset, but it hurt the most to know that they words he spoke were the truth. I was trying to redeem myself with Yuna. I wanted to protect her as fully as I possibly could, I wanted to relinquish my guilt of letting another die by forcing Yuna to live.

I was a stoical person by nature. I come off as cold, uncaring and sometimes even blunt to the point of cruelness. I don't get angry, I don't yell or throw a fit. I control my emotions. When my parent's died, and I had no one, I learned that emotions were nothing but a burden. What did crying solve? With so much grief surrounding my town after SIN attacked, there was no one who stopped to wipe the tears or ease the sadness of a young girl. You were just another sad reminder of what SIN could do.

From then on I promised myself never to cry useless tears again. I didn't cry openly when I learned the news of Chappu's demise, or when Lady Ginnem was murdered. I kept my emotions locked away, only opening them in private, if I even let them out at all. But the truth hurts more than anyone can imagine.

My face got hot and I could feel that familiar wave of emotion rush over me. I was so hurt and angry, not at Wakka, but at myself. I was angry about Lady Ginnem, I was angry that Chappu left me. I was angry at Tidus for reminding me of the love I once had for Chappu and for gaining Yuna's trust so easily. I hated myself for letting these horrible things happen to my friends and family and for blaming poor Wakka. My vision blurred.

I backed away for the second time that night. I wanted so badly to stop the tears, but they flowed freely onto my cheeks, running makeup, I was sure, all over my face. But that barely even grazed my thoughts. I needed to get out of there, I needed leave and clear my head. I wouldn't let Wakka see me like this. As I turned I could see him get up from the log and reach a heavy arm out towards me, as if to stop me, but he let it fall to his side.

Wakka's POV

Lulu was crying, but I wasn't really sure why. I scratched my head. Man, I hate when girls cry in general, but seeing Lulu cry was a whole different thing. She isn't open about her feelings at all, and to see her cry like this tore me apart. Before she turned away I could see the teary streaks on her face reflecting the flickering fire. It was so sad, and yet, so beautiful.

I didn't know if she was mad at me for talking about Chappu, or if it was because I mention Lady Ginnem or maybe even something else. I didn't understand her, but I really try to be there for her. I say the wrong things a lot and that gets me into trouble with her. She says I act on impulse instead of logic and that I use my instincts too much. Lu is calm, cool and collected at all times and I'm so different from her that its no wonder she chose Chappu.

And now I had to go and make her cry, something that she never does, and I feel like a damn fool.

Lulu's POV

I hurried off into the night, stifling frantic sobs as I moved through the trees and huts. I was becoming hysteric after years of repressing my sadness. I wanted to scream and cry and fall to the ground. I wanted to just let myself fall apart. I wanted to let go of everything that's been weighing me down.

I moved through the town a silently and as quickly as I could, eternally grateful that most of Besaid was sleeping. I reached my own hut towards the edge of the small dwellings, and entered its secure walls.

As soon as I was inside I broke down.

I had to support myself by grasping at the walls as tremors of sadness and repressed feelings rocked through me. I leaned my head against the cool adobe as tears continued to flow from me. I stole a glance at the mirror across the room and cringed. Not only did my eyes have no makeup, but the makeup had migrated from my eyes to under them. Dark stains of mascara and purple eye-shadow ran down my cheeks in concentrated streams. My purple lipstick stained my chin. I looked beyond horrible. And I just didn't give a shit.

Wakka's POV

I couldn't let Lulu suffer through her pain alone. I knew that I needed to be there to support her, but I didn't know how. I seems like every time I try to say something nice or do something helpful, it backfires on my and I dig myself deeper into a hole. I already had her holding a grudge against me simply because I wasn't my brother Chappu. I know that Lu secretly wished I had been the one to join the Crusaders and not Chappu.

Even so, Lu was my family, and family has to stick together, ya? I knew her since she was a little kid and have always been protecting her and Chappu, so why stop now? She needs me, even if she doesn't want me.

I started making my way through the woods towards town. My footsteps were loud, probably a lot louder than Lulu's, so I had to be careful not to step too heavy. I passed Yuna's house, and then mine before finally arriving at Lulu's secluded hut. I could hear the muffled sound of crying coming from inside. I didn't bother to knock.

Lulu's POV

I could barely breathe through sobs that dominated my air passage. I was beginning to hyperventilate in my tight, fur-collared corset. I wretched my arms back and tugged at the strings and hooks, but I was too upset to properly untangle the mess on my back. I began to get frustrated and started tearing at my back, breaking some of the strings, and then quickly regretting it. I got so frustrated that the tears that had finally stopped, now ran down my face again. I sunk to the ground, still tugging and pulling at my constricting clothes. I cried freely now, feeling safe with the fact that I was in my own home.

"Lulu." Wakka said in the doorway. Not a question or a demand, just a quiet way of saying that he was there. I was relieved to see him, but that was quickly replaced with shame. I hid my face in my hands, afraid to show him my tear-stained cheeks and muddled makeup. I know that if I were to feel safe with anyone, it would be Wakka. He was the person I had known the longest on this island. He was my best friend, and yet I could not let him see me so broken. I pulled myself even tighter together.

Wakka didn't seemed to notice anything as he knelt down next to me. He was balancing on his haunches as he quietly spun my so that my back was facing him. Casually, he brushed my hair away from my back and over my shoulders.

"You really made a mess back here, Lu" He said lightheartedly with a small laugh, his hand like fire on my shoulder. His big hand stayed in place, and I couldn't help but tilt my head towards him and rest my cheek on it. The rough first knuckle of his index finger started stroking my cheek, gathering tears and providing a comforting touch.

We shared a moment of silent amenity.

He tilted his head so that it was close to mine.

"You know I'm here fo you?"

A question in need of an answer. He knew that I had people that I could rely on, but did I know that?

As much as it hurt my pride to need something from someone, I nodded.

"I know."

He pulled away and so very gently touched his lips to the crown of my hair. I closed my eyes and lifted my head, thinking only of how I could possibly treat this man so badly. I've treated Wakka as if her were an infant that didn't know anything, when in fact he knew more than I can imagine about comforting others. He was such a kind, gentle soul, and I had abused that over the years.

I almost wish that he was angry with me, if only to make myself feel better.

I could feel his fingers on my back, pulling strings and unclasping hooks, his calloused hands running along my bare skin at random intervals. He maneuvered through the maze of strings that was my corset like a true master. Before I even had time to think he was already almost done. I repressed the urge to shiver. He reminded me of Chappu.

"Almost – there." He grunted as he pulled a particularly tight knot apart. I know that I should have felt ashamed or at least a little embarrassed by the fact that my dress now hung open all the way down my back to my underwear, but I honestly just felt safe with Wakka. I didn't feel the need to cover up things that Wakka had already seen. When you grow up with someone, you tend to lose any sense of modesty that happens when around others.

"Where are your night clothes?" He asked once done with his first task. He stood up and reached his hand down to help me up. I straightened, but Wakka still towered over me by nearly a foot .I could feel him careful not to look at my chest, his eyes looking everywhere but at me. He might have been my friend, but he was a man first. I haphazardly covered my breasts with my arm, more to make him feel comfortable than me.

All of my sleeping clothes were at Yuna's house because she had agreed to wash them. I was supposed to pick them up earlier in the evening, but had been preoccupied with the situation at hand. There was no point in waking up Yuna now, even if the nights on Besaid Island were very cold. I would be fine, I had blankets.

"I left them with Yuna. I was supposed to get them earlier today." I said coolly, almost back to my usually collected self. I was embarrassed, but glad to have gotten all those pent up feelings off my chest and was even happier to be back in a coherent state.

Wakka frowned. "You'll catch cold. Take my shirt, I think you needit more den I do." And without hesitation, Wakka removed his wool shirt and handed it over to me. He smiled broadly.

I took his shirt, touched by his thoughtfulness. "Thank you, Wakka."

Before putting his shirt over my bare upper body, I noticed a small insignia on his torso. On the left side of his chest was the number nine, Chappu's number in Blitzball. A memento. Why hadn't I noticed it before?

Wakka saw me staring and placed his hand over his heart, covering the tattoo. "So I neva forget Chappu." I watched his mouth as he formed the words, tears springing to my eyes yet again. What was wrong with me? Why was I so emotional?

I looked down and forced my eyes shut, trying to will myself to stop crying. I thought I was done, but my body had other plans apparently. Maybe revenge for denying it for so long?

I stifled sobs. Once again, one simple thing had cracked me open. I wasn't crying for just Chappu, I was crying for everything. I bit my lip till it bled to try to get my body to stop. I dug my nails into my arms, forming crescents in my pale skin. But I continued to cry.

Just when I was feeling my world fall apart all over again, I was pulled back by Wakka. He had his arms around me, engulfing me with his simple love. I didn't know what to do other than accept the support he was giving me. I curled up against him and just cried. I let go of everything. Nothing mattered anymore. I pressed my face against Wakka's heart, over Chappu's number nine. My tears ran down my cheeks and into my mouth and onto his chest and everywhere. I cried and cried until nothing was left in me. My sadness was gone with my tears.

I was now an empty vessel, ready for new feelings of love and happiness. My emotions were no longer raked with guilt and sorrow. I was free to feel.

Once my lament was reduced to shallow, hiccups, I pulled away. "Thank you." I murmured, craning my neck to look up at him. His eyes seemed sad as he looked down at me. "What?" I asked, my voice cracking from overuse.

"I just . . . don like to see you so upset, Lu." Wakka rubbed a hand over my shoulder and smiled. "I wanna see you happy, ya?"

I smiled, a rare gesture for me.

He returned my smile.

Silence filled my room as we gazed at each other.

He looked down at my eyes, and then to my lips. Flicking back an forth, creating the pregnant moment before a kiss. I was scared. Did I want this? Was I ready?

His lips were parted as he cocked his head to one side. My eyes closed and I was drawn towards him, as if by gravity. He descended.

Would I even remember how to kiss? Its been so long since I last kissed a man, and I was young then. Was I even any good? What if he gets lipstick on his mouth?

And then, as suddenly as I had been entranced by the looming kiss, I was thinking clearly. This is Wakka. The same Wakka that had been like a father and a brother to me when we were growing up. He was the brother of my dead fiance and one of my best friends. How could I possibly kiss him?

I pulled away, almost pushing him off of me. He looked just as startled as I was. His eyes were wide.

"Lu, I'm sorry! I-I wasn't thinking clearly!"

I backed off, quickly covering my breast once again with my arm, suddenly conscious of my nudity. I needed to think. I needed to be alone and I needed to think about what I truly wanted. Wakka backed away, looking unsure.

"I'm sorry if I scared you . . . I jus . . . ." he shrugged, "I jus dunno anymore. I know how I'm supposed to feel about you, but I can't just hide my feelings." Wakka spoke with vigor, as if this was something that he had been wanting to tell me for a while. He stepped closer to me, but I backed away. "I want you to know that I - "

I knew what he was going to say, and I was terrified. "Wakka, I think you should go now."

He opened his mouth before giving one last defeated look. He turned, gave a short wave goodbye and walked out the door. Just like that, he was gone.

I fell back onto my bed. What do I do? All I can think about when I'm with Wakka is how much I miss Chappu. Its not fair to Wakka that every time I'm with him I'm thinking about his brother. I just can't, get him off my mind. He would have wanted me to move on, but with his brother? His own family? How do I possibly live with myself knowing that I'm with Chappu's brother. And wouldn't Wakka realize that he was second best? I was only with him because his brother was killed?

But, I cannot deny the fact that I love Wakka. I love him, I really, truly do. My life truly became livable again after I became closer with Wakka. He gave my dreary life light.

I thought of Wakka and of his nine tattoo. Was that tattoo how he managed to move on? Chappu had been number nine on the Auroch's Blitzball team. Maybe if I tattooed myself I could make room for Wakka in my life. I wouldn't have to think about Chappu all the time because instead he would be a part of me. Inspired, I ran to my desk to grab a vial of red, the only color I had, ink. I rummaged in one of the drawers to find a usable needle.

Now that I had all the supplies I decided to get down to work. After years of fighting, pain didn't bother me as much as it should have. I opened the vial of ink and dipped the needle inside, wetting just the tip. I lifted the needle and took a sharp breathe before pushing it deep into the skin above my breast. I repeat this dotting process until a small number nine could be visible between my collar bone and breast. The pain was so insignificant that I hardly even winced.

Satisfied, I brushed the excess ink away. I got up from my bed and looked into my full length mirror. I was naked accept for a pair of black underwear. I pulled my hair down out of its bun and let the braids fall against my back. My pale skin glowed.

The number nine seemed to glow on my chest. It matched my reddish eyes and contrasted with my skin. It looked beautiful. I brought my hand up to touch it. My skin was slightly irritated around the tattoo, but I didn't care. I felt oddly whole standing there nude in front my mirror, nothing on but a number nine tattoo. I loved this new feeling.

Wakka would be proud that I acted on my impulse. I'm always telling him that he relies to much on adrenaline, and he always rebuts by saying that I'm to calm. Well, this was definitely not the calm, careful Lulu that he had known. It was odd, but I felt very confident all of a sudden. Confident in everything. I felt like I could defeat SIN on my own.

I smiled, something that was slowly becoming more regular for me.

For once, I needed to do the chasing. I needed to stop acting so weak and go out and get what I want. I needed to go to Wakka. Almost without thinking, I grabbed his shirt off my bed and threw it on. The shirt smelled so familiarly like him that it was almost intoxicating. I walked over to the mirror and wiped off the remaining makeup, Why do I care if he sees me without makeup? I undid my hair, letting each big braid loose one by one, like I did every night before sleep. My hair was thick and as black as the bottom of the ocean, but when I took it from its brains it was kinky and wavy. Brushing it did nothing but make it a ball of frizz, so taking my hair out every night definitely created a wavy mess and a problem in the morning when I had to redo my hair, but maybe I would change things up and wear my hair down sometimes. What do I care if people make fun of me?

I flung my hair over my shoulder and walked out the door, not even bothering to put on shoes.

Wakka's POV

How could I be so stupid? Poor Lu was going through a tough time and I had to mess everything up and try to kiss her. Why couldn't I control myself? I clenched my fists and fell back onto my bed. I coulda at least respected her enough to give her some space before I made a move. I was so selfish! I didn't even think of her feelings.

But that was weird tonight. I mean, Lulu freakin out and all. I've never seen her lose control like dat, but I guess we all do sometimes, huh? But man . . . Lu's always been so together.

I turned so that I was on my side. My feet stuck off the end of the small bed, but I was so used to it I didn't mind. I closed my eyes, trying to force myself to sleep.

Seconds turned to minutes and I was still awake.

I rolled over onto my back, but I was still thinking about Lulu. I couldn't get her off my mind. I couldn't sleep.

I groaned, angry that the one thing I wanted in my life was so far away from me. Lulu would never want a dumb guy like me. She's too smart to be with me. Shes too pretty and too controlled. I wouldn't do her no justice.

But man, did I love her.

Lulu's POV

Wakka's house had no door, only a thin piece of fabric guarding the entrance. But honestly, what would a door do? No one on this island would dare mess with Wakka, and he knew it. Instead of knocking I slipped in through the curtain unnoticed.

His eyes were closed and he was laying on his back. His shirt was off, obviously, since I was wearing it. No blanket covered him. It wasn't even close to the coldest part of night yet and I was already shivering for him. I wrapped my arms around myself, unsure of my next move. The sudden confidence I had gained from the adrenaline of the tattoo was now gone. I pressed my fist to my heart.

I walked slowly towards him. His breathing was slow and regular. He was sleeping.

My heart began to beat fast. I wanted to kiss him, but I didn't know his reaction. Would he be angry with me from before? I decided that I didn't care anymore.

I bent down and paused, only for a second, before pressing my lips against his.

And before I could even wonder what was happening, he was kissing me back. His teeth ran along my bottom lip and my knees went weak. I was seeing stars. Spira was collapsing in on itself. My mind was buzzing.

Wakka sat up and pulled me onto his bed, never breaking our kiss. He opened my mouth with his own and slid his tongue between my lips. His mouth was pushing against mine, forcing me to arch my back around his encircling hands. I was sitting on his lap, one of his hands wrapped around my waist, the other grasping my neck.

I couldn't breathe, let alone think. I didn't want this moment to end, but I needed air. I pulled away, aching, longing for more.

We were both breathing heavy, our chests rising and falling in unison. Before I could say anything, his lips were on my neck. I couldn't help but moan when his hand reached up to grasp my breast through my (his?) shirt, His thumb grazing my nipple.

"Wakka . . ." I breathed with closed eyes.

"hm?"

"You weren't sleeping, were you."

His only response was to smile into my neck before continuing his kisses. I couldn't help but feel useless as he doted on me, and I just sort of sat there, breathing heaving and moaning. His hand slid under my top. My heart was racing. I was biting my bottom lip.

The coarse skin of his hands ran along my stomach. He licked my collarbone. His hand was at the edge of my breast. I held my breath as he touched my sensitive flesh. I almost felt like squirming away shyly like some kind of virgin, bashful and embarrassed. But I didn't. I sat still as his fingers ran along my breast.

And then I could feel his lips kissing my other nipple. I moaned, soft and long, as he took my breast in his mouth, gently biting the tender skin. I circled my arms around his neck, entwining my hands in his hair and pressing him closer. I didn't want him to stop. I tried to get closer to him by scooting even more into his lap, but stopped when I pressed against his groin. The minute I did that, he let go of my breast with a gasp. I smiled and ran my knee against him again. He made the same lovely sound, only this time it was a whisper in my ear.

Both his hands were heavy on my hips, weighing me down and holding me in place. His lips were shining with my saliva. My mind finally began wrapping itself around the situation. This was really happening. There was no turning back.

But I wasn't scared, or feeling any second thoughts. The only thing that I knew in my head was that I loved this man. I loved him more than life. I loved him so incredibly much, and I had denied him and myself that love for so long.

I held him tighter, pressing my whole body against his chest. My arms were around his neck and my head rested on his large shoulder. I closed my eyes and silently ran a hand through his orange hair. A quiet, intimate embrace.

He nudged his head into my hair, kissing my head again and wrapping his arms around me. I felt like I was inside of a warm cocoon, protected, safe. I didn't want to move, I just wanted to feel him against me forever.

"I love you." I breathed finally into his warm skin.

He stopped moving for a split second, caught off guard I'm guessing.

He lowered his head towards mine, his face a mixture of joy and disbelief. He kissed me again, tenderly, before pulling away.

"Its bout time you said that, ya?" He whispered into my ear.

Suddenly, I remembered the tattoo I had given myself earlier that night. "Wakka," I started, "I need to show you something."

And with that, I removed his shirt from my body.

Wakka's eyes fell on the base of my left breast, where the red tattoo took up a tiny space. "Lu, did you . . ."

We stared at each other, a look of sad understanding on both our faces. I grasped his hand and placed it on the tattoo, my own hand covering his. Our understanding was without words. We knew that this meant we were moving on. That I was finally moving on.

He rubbed his thumb over the small nine before removing his hand.

"I love you so much Lulu."

He gently pushed me onto my back, his arm cradling me. He kissed my knee, then my inner thigh before coming back to press his lips to mine. His huge body surrounded me. He was on his elbows, his knees pushing my legs apart. I couldn't see anything but him in the dimly lit room. He kept his lips firmly on mine.

A hand brushed against the waistband of my underwear and I gasped. I could feel Wakka smiling into our kiss as he removed the black garment. I was now completely nude, but I wasn't scared. I felt safe with Wakka, just as I had felt safe with Chappu. I could hear the buckle on his waistband as he undid his pants.

Before anything happened, he looked at me. His dark eyes were serious and unclouded, but filled with love and life. I must have looked scared, because he knelt down and placed a gentle kiss on my cheek.

"You sure you want this . . . with me?"

I wanted to yell at him for asking such a stupid question because honestly, why the fuck would I be here, in his bed, laying naked under him if I didn't want him to have sex with me?

His forehead pressed against my shoulder as he shallowly entered me. I opened my mouth and arched my back, but no sound left my lips. I could feel his heavy breath as he withdrew, only to enter me again. He moved against me like a wave; coming in like the tide and leaving just as quickly. I writhed against him.

After Chappu I didn't think that I would ever love again. I thought that the wounds that he left behind were two large to fix, too infected to cure. But I was wrong. Chappu loved me so much. He would have wanted me to move on and live a happy life. He went into the Crusaders, knowing that he would surely die, so that he could protect me. So that I could continue to live and love.

Everyone whom had died, died protecting something. My parents were protecting me, Chappu was trying to create a better life for me, and Lady Ginnem was trying to free Spira from SIN. I shouldn't be sad, I should be grateful. These important people in my life were brave enough to face something as terrible as SIN.

I could feel a tight knot build in my belly, a once familiar feeling.

I grasped onto him, arching myself, pressing against him. I could smell his heady scent all around me. His hand grasped my breasts as his pace quickened. He choked out my name before thrusting into me one last time. I couldn't help myself, I cried out in ecstasy as I was filled with heat.

My nails dug into his back, my legs wrapping around him. Euphoria washed over me.

And then it was gone, and replacing it was a feeling of pure bliss. Wakka didn't move for a while, keeping the bond between us while we kissed. Finally, agonizingly, he pulled out and nearly collapsed next to me on the bed. We faced each other. He placed his chin on the top of my head and pulled me close to him. His arm behind my head acted as a warm pillow. For the first time in a long while, I felt totally secure.

I wanted to say something, but nothing important came to mind. I simply moved closer to Wakka, folding myself into his arms like a child. I pressed my head against his chest, against the small number nine, and smiled, finally content.

**And thats pretty much it. Getting kind of bored of this so I'm gonna just cut it off here. I doubt many people will read this, but thank you if you and I would love to hear a review!**


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